Patient #9: Too many patients with this one!

Dr. Carm has noticed a lot of her acquaintances with this disorder. She believes there is an epidemic going around! “What is it?” you asked? Well, it’s….

Obsessive Compulsive Book Disorder (OCBD)

Yes, this is a psychological disorder that affects many people. This disorder basically renders the person as a book-aholic (as it is sometimes known as.)

Symptoms include the following:

Excessive book activities. People with this disorder must read, own, and borrow many books. Reading, smelling, feeling, and for some tasting books are a source of pleasure. Without books, their world falls apart. As the OCBD advances, this disorder takes on other forms of reading such as magazines, newspaper, web articles, pamphlets, ingredient labels, and those annoying pillow tags.

Breathing fire. Okay, I’m joking on this one. OCBD only has the one symptom listed above, but it would be so much fun to breathe fire!

Anyway, OCBD can cause the person to do odd things compared to those who do not have OCBD. They would forgo events to stay at home with a good book. They get giddy when they purchase books at a great discount. They are practically unbearable until the next book in a series comes out. Insomnia can occur because they have to finish the book or chapter. They feel the loss of character sometimes more so than someone they know in real life. Obsessive disorders with the characters or author are very likely to occur. Many OCBD sufferers enter giveaways for free and advanced copies of books, read (yes read!!!) blogs about books and reviews, belong to websites such as Goodreads, own an electronic reader (such as a Kindle or Nook), uses their library card more than their credit cards, and run out of spaces for their books at home. Finally, any misuse of a book might cause the person to suffer physical, emotional, and/or psychological damage, courtesy of the OCBD sufferer that catches him or her.

OCBD has no cure. Doctors tend to treat this order much the same way as they do for other OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) cases. Unfortunately, most sufferers are blissfully happy in their current state that they do not seek medical attention. What is more alarming is the waiting rooms of doctors who treat these patients! They have reading material in the waiting room!!!! This only encourages the disorder.
If you feel that your OCBD is getting out of hand, please contact your primary care physician. Worst case scenario is death.


Related Postings:Patient #1: Kayla
Patient #2: Sam
Patient #3: Lyra
Patient #4: Desiree
Patient #5: Heather
Patient #10:  JFFGD

Patient #8: "The Pirate" [Arrrrgh!]

The Pirate (as this person is so known as) has an unusual illness:

Feline Piracy Basket Syndrome (FPBS)

No, this is not where a person stills kitty cats in baskets, although I wouldn’t be surprised if it did happen. FPBS has three distinguishing features that set it apart from other illnesses.

First, the person has an obsessive compulsive disorder with cats. This person may own several pets of the feline persuasion; collect fake cats (i.e., freeze dried cats—like the little coffee crystals *Mama’s Family reference—loved that show*, figurines); hoards pictures of real and painted cats, owns cat-like objects (purses shaped like cats or made of cat fur); wears cat-like items (t-shirts, sunglasses, etc.); and has impulsive tendencies to feed any cat that comes across his/her path.

Second, the person has an obsessive compulsive disorder with winning baskets from Chinese Auctions. To become happy and content with their lives, FPBS sufferers must participate and win some kind of basket on a regular basis. This means they must attend festivals or bingos, usually on a weekly basis. If asked if they have a gambling problem, they should answer "I don't have a problem gambling." Not only does the person like to put their tickets in to win baskets, he/she enjoys putting down cat names instead of their own names (see above about Cat OCD.) Researchers have indicated that this mistaken in identity might be a slowly developing brain disorder that results with the person finally believing that he/she is a cat. Hopefully, the FPBS sufferer has sought help before it has reached this stage.

Finally, the person has pirate attributes. The person might have a peg leg, an eye patch, full pirate regalia….This actually can be quite entertaining to us doctors. Anyway, FPBS sufferers feel the need to randomly spurt out into Piratese [pirate language]. In accordance with the feline obsession, most FPBS sufferers do not have a parrot to keep them company, but they do enjoy hooks….

FPBS is not a contagious illness, and it is unclear how one acquires it. Speculations have been made that considered hormonal imbalances, radiation, head contusions or brain damage (accidental or self-inflicted), and sports-related injuries.

Medication has been prescribed for some patients with FPBS, although these have resulted in a 78.3% failure rate. (It seems the symptoms are very powerful for the likes of modern medicine.) FPBS is a complex syndrome that requires more moderating in the medical community.

If you believe you have FPBS and want to try this medication, please contact your PCP (primary care physician). They can monitor the prescription and use you as guinea pig.

Related Postings:

The Patch

Patient #7: Lucky Snr

Blind Leading the Blind